The past week my thoughts have not been focused on the dissertation. Even as I (try to) write today, I'm thinking about a 32-year old man who was stolen from his family. Tim Bosma, Susan's former 8th grade student, was trying to sell his truck, went on a test drive with two men and never came back. Right now, an update from police is streaming into my ears - apparently an arrest has been made associated with this case.
Last week, I wrote about how it's impossible to know everything that God has made, and I was good with that. Right now, I'm not good with knowing that Tim is missing...over the sale of a pick up truck. I'm not okay with the brokenness that has crept into my community and world. Why this event, why this person, why this family. If God is good and in control of all things, why this pain? And how does a dissertation on aspiration make sense when a person with a tattoo of the word "Ambition" has been involved in stealing a husband, father, son, brother, and a member of my extended Church community. Ambition is an aspect of motivation and aspiration and now seems like a cruel word, loaded with a different set of meaning.
It is a test of faith for any believer to be patient and trust when grappling with the at times harsh realities of our world. And so hard to not rush in and try to make meaning of the senseless and painful...I am struggling to hold back on making meaning and rest in Ecclesiastes reminder that God is in control and he is the source of meaning. It is humbling in this moment too, to know that we cannot make sense of all things. But I will try...
The police report is done. An arrest has been made, but Tim has not yet been found. There is renewed hope but no answers. I don't think I can write today.
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