Crossroads of research: worldview, perspective, and bias.

Throughout my PhD program, I've been pushed by the faculty to reflect and learn more about my own "positionality" in relationship to the research in which I am engaged.  As I launch writing my dissertation proposal, I need to stop and take a breath to reflect.  I wrote the following bit a year ago for a research team and thought that it would be a good idea to share it here.  At this point of my journey, I am amazed at what I know...and how much I don't know yet.  The eternal paradox of a learner, I think!

I've always had a level of discomfort about putting my "stuff" out there on a blog, but as I continue in my own journey, I realize that it's important, in humility, share not only what I learn, but how I think.  So what follows is a bit of testimony as well as an unpacking of an epistemological framework.

Assumptions, worldview, and leadership

I am a privileged, educated, middle-to-upper-middle class white male living in a socially tolerant country. I am the child of dutch immigrants who survived World War II, whose families hid Jews and led a underground resistance movement. My parents valued Christ-centred education and in spite of making many sacrifices to start private Christian schools and pay tuition, also enjoyed a comfortable life having built a small, but thriving, construction business. I grew up in an immigrant enclave in the midst of Canadian culture – church, school, and family formed clear boundaries between “us” and “the world”. Most of my oldest and nearest friends and church community share my immigrant story.

I write this not out of a sense of pride, but as statements to “get out there” where I come from. In getting to know my cohort, I realise how much of what I know, how I know, and my assumptions have been based on a bit of a cultural “short hand” that is shared with others who have a similar background. I’ve been learning the impact that my worldview has had on how I’ve been interpreting the world around me – and the transformative impact of my doctoral studies.

My worldview is rooted in a biblical perspective of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. I believe that God created humans in his image to bring him glory, yet humankind chose to a path away from God and fell into sin. God in his grace provided Jesus to redeem us from our brokenness, calling us to work towards restoring his creation rather than wallowing in sin. Our lives and our world are totally tainted by sin, yet God chooses to work in and through us...and often in spite of us. I believe that God created us as gendered beings – and that the interpretation of gender is shaped by our society, but that there are strongly determined gendered traits which do influence our experience of the world.

Leaders are called to create a culture within which fellow image bearers can work out their calling in pursuit of a common goal. This culture will not be perfect and will require us to work with one another in Christ’s love, holding each other to account for our work. As a leader who is a Christ-follower, I will never be “the leader” as I need to keep my eyes firmly on Jesus. In this view, leadership is not a continuum but multidimensional and expressed differently based on individual gifting, role, and circumstance. At the centre is Jesus Christ, through which all interpretations of life flow.

Leadership is a culture-shaping process that requires a shared vision, a collaboration of individual gifts and strengths, and perpetual movement towards a goal. Leadership is a process of interpreting a vision to align with a dynamic external environment and internal values to attain the goal(s) of a vision. It is a holistic process which incorporates the values, personalities, and strengths of individuals to forge a culture to attain a shared goal.

I find myself at an epistemologically odd place. I believe absolutely that God created and that there are absolute truths revealed in creation and scripture...yet I also am a social constructivist – my worldview, my experiences, my life shape how I interpret and understand the world. My construction of knowledge will be different than another person, which causes tension as I do hold that there are absolute truths that can be understood and accepted. It’s within this tension that I find a sense of joy, as if it’s to that place that God has placed me to learn, discover, and grow.

Richard Wikkerink, 2011

Cross roads in Denver

I spent October 24-28 in Denver at the International Leadership Association Conference - my second conference.  It's a great conference - highlights for me were hanging out with my Azusa Pacific University classmates, hearing Edgar Schein, making a presentation with my research team, AND narrowing down a research area and topic for my dissertation.

I think finding the dissertation topic with two members of my dissertation committee, Dr Longman and Dr Hulme, was simply amazing.  My classmate Bruce Primrose and I found a nice pub and spent two hours discussing my topics over beer.  Then we went back to the conference site and met with Karen and Eileen in the conference centre lobby.  An hour later, they helped me narrow down my problem area (from intergenerational differences in leadership  to mid-level staff at career crossroads) and an actual sensible focused question.  Which is still under wraps.

Other exciting adventures in Denver:

1.  President Obama's Motorcade blocked our way from the airport to the conference centre

2.  Bruce and I witnessed a cyclist being struck by a car - Bruce dropped me off to help the cyclist as he took off after the hit-and-run driver.  The cyclist was looked to be OK - paramedics took her in just to be sure. 

3.  SNOW in Denver.  Whaaaaat?

4.  Tattered Cover Bookstore - an hour of blissful shopping, reading, browsing.  Awesome.  No photos, just books.  :)

5.  Mountains.

6.  Denver Art Museum and a fantastic special exhibit of VanGogh art work.  Outstanding.

A great conference experience!


For anyone who is interested - this is the session I participated in:

THE ROLE OF CALLING IN LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND EFFECTIVENESS

Description: Three studies examine the nature and role of calling or vocation as it relates to leadership practice and development, specifically in university settings. Together, they offer the opportunity to study a little-researched area thru the lenses of gender, role, and generational differences. Panelists will invite audience discussion on how vocation in leadership may extend to other sectors than higher education, and possibilities for future research.

Women’s Leadership Development in Faith-Based Higher Education: The Role of Calling as a Motivator

Qualitative research involving Women’s Leadership Development Institute participants from faith-based universities has revealed that awareness of (and obedience to) calling is an important component of the leadership journey for participants. A model for women’s leadership development, which includes awareness of calling to leadership as one of three primary motivators, will be presented and discussed.

Karen Longman, Department of Doctoral Higher Education, Azusa Pacific University
Coauthors:Candy O'Connor, Azusa Pacific University; Richard Wikkerink, Redeemer University College

Comprehensive Truth?

Today was an interesting mix of activity.  It started out with  my preparation for teaching Sunday School and teaching a challenging lesson on David and Absalom.  Not a feel good story with clear lines around who was good and who was evil.  It was an opportunity to weave in how complicated it can be to be a leader - David was King and a dad...and was fighting for his leadership against his own son. We also had a chance to talk about how life situations like these are often so complicated.

The next bit was kneading up a big batch of dough, slicing, chopping, and grating ingredients for calzones for the CITB band and sound team.  That was three hours of work but a delicious result.  I even hid some spinach to increase the nutritional value.

Then on to CITB rehearsal, cut paper into squares for paper cranes for 1000 people, sort out details, feed the crew, pray with them, and watch them launch the service.  The Creative and Expressive Worship team (CEW) did a "cardboard testimonies" that was so moving.  Each student wrote a word or phrase describing their struggles...Alone...Lust...Pride..Anxiety...Anorexia...Eating Disorders...Vanity...Porn Addiction...Gossip... were all listed.  After each presentation, the student hid their face behind the testimony, flipping it to show the empty backside of the testimony.  The last student approached the mike and together they all shouted "NO!"  and one read Romans 8: 37-39.

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

At the conclusion, the group of students (20 or so) approached the edge of the stage and tore their description of a sin in half.  Truly stunning.  Would that we could be so brave in our churches and personal lives.

The preacher - Pastor Chris Schoon - spoke on the belt of truth.  Truth is not a weapon, but a garment to be worn close to the heart.  Truth is a verb - an action that we live into...we "truth" and immerse ourselves in knowing truth.  Truth is a person - Jesus.  This message was what I needed to hear and spoke into me about my own walk of seeking greater understanding of truth through my PhD.  Check out the message later this week at www.redeemer.ca.citb

Well back to the ongoing saga that is the comp.  It's on US Higher Ed and I am doing my best to think like an American.  Thus far in the program, I have been able to shift assignments to Cdn Higher Ed...no dice with this one, so it's a struggle.  But it's coming together...14 pages...in reasonable shape...and with a bit more writing tonight and a strong editorial hand tomorrow (along with proper citations), it will be good to go.

To sustain me tonight, a good cup of Turkish coffee (thank you to my friend Bruce for the pot).  See the photos below - the first is the little pot in which one brings water, finely ground coffee (almost a dust), and sugar to a boil...letting it foam up to the rim three times.  Nice strong coffee for the nervous system.  The second photo is my work station for the next two hours...excluding the walk around the neighbourhood to clear my head.

Comprehensive Procrastination Part II

And the procrastination continues.  I actually made excellent use of my 5 hours at the library until a wicked tension headache drove me home and to bed.  A good nap, some household duties, help my daughter with an essay, and it's 10 pm...the procrastinator hard at work on his blog with the solid comfort that both email accounts are clear, facebook land has no interesting news, no fascinating tweets to read...so now the  blog before I get back at it.

See, all week I have had terrible sleep this week (even the nap was awful...my 23 yr old knocked on the door to ask me if I was asleep...yes, it continues after they are 5) which lead to the grinding tension headache this week.  Vague amorphous dreams of not passing the comp and not quite being smart enough for this degree.  Funny how the subconscious preys on the mind and heart...how threads of that lack of confidence from the age of 17 continues at 47. 

My leadership coach advises how important it is to know who you are - and whose you are - and to have simple mantras to shift that deficit mindset into one of positive growth.  "Be courageous today"  "Be the change" "I am a child of God" are some that have gotten me through a day or a moment.  Today it's a bit more pragmatic.  "I will finish this comp" alternating with "I can earn this degree".

Sunday looks like an awesome day - Grade 4 sunday school in the morning, baking calzones for the church in the box band in the afternoon (there is something about feeding hungry guys who are grateful for something decent to eat that is deeply rewarding for me), and CITB in the evening...book ended on either end with an hour or two of writing and thinking.  Mantra for the day will be "where you are BE there".

Looking forward to BEING tomorrow...and getting this comp done.  Page 12 underway...two more sections...major edit...deadline monday night, 11:59 pm PST (yes, that's 2:59 AM on Tuesday morning for those of us in the eastern time zone...and yes I actually have used that time difference to meet deadlines).

Comprehensive Procrasination

After spending a couple of days reading and writing, I'm starting my comprehensive exam - another step towards the PhD.  I've been given 10 days to read, think, reflect, and write an essay to answer one of three questions. Can't say anything else about the exam - the area I'm working on is "Critical Issues in US Higher Ed" and the faculty did a great job of thinking of some great questions.  I was actually excited about the questions (such a geek, but hey, it's true).

The odd thing is that this is the start of day 4 of actually taking time away from daily responsibilities to work on it - Friday the question came in...came home a noon and started reading.  Saturday, spent the day at the library reading and was gently hijacked into a 1.5 hr conversation with a new friend of aboriginal heritage.  Tuesday I let myself be hijacked into work email for 2/3rd of the day.  Wednesday night got home from work at 7 and went to bed at 10 rather than reading that last 3 chapters.

Thursday...it's 10:15 and I am blogging instead of writing.  I set my work email with an outgoing "ain't reading email for the next 4 days".  Told my colleagues I'm not answering email - call my cell if there is an urgent item.  Went to the library to get away from the work and home distractions.  And here I am...10:19 and not writing.  Why is it that if the deadline is not screaming at me that I can't get work done?  Perhaps that a better question for a therapist than a blog.  :)

It's all part of the journey, strengthening that self-discipline muscle.  Signing off and opening my document....in 5...4...3...

Jouneys: Beginning and Continuing

"Now" begins a new stage of my doctoral studies journey: the dissertation proposal.  "Now" is a funny word to use because this is not a precise beginning, but an ongoing unfolding of the path ahead.  But I need to have a starting point "now" to help me move along the process.  I know an end point is out there - my goal to be done this dissertation is May 2014 and that's approaching quickly.  The months of August and September have flown past - occupied by work and family life - the ultimate excuses for a chronic procrastinator.  And now that I have October in front of me with a comprehensive paper to write (Oct 12-20) and a paper to present at the International Leadership Association Conference in Denver (Oct 23-28)...I'm running down on time.

So I need to begin.  I've cracked open my new Moleskin reporter journal (I just love note books, even in this age of blogging), wrote out a commitment to the next 18 months of work, prayed over it, and started writing about the "problem area" that I want to explore.  Leadership transitions in higher education:  what type of leader is needed?  And yes, that is WAY too big, too broad to encapsulate in a research question, so the process of drilling down to the actual research question begins.

In addition to being capable of much procrastination (this blog is one site on which to procrastinate), my strengthsfinder top five strengths (Connectedness, Arranger, Learner, Input, and Restorative) are all screaming at me to be managed.  Connectedness - I'm looking at the forest when I need to look at a branch of a tree.  Arranger - I'm focused on the next two weeks, especially the upcoming thanksgiving weekend and the renovation project of installing new flooring (no worries, I'm hiring someone to do it).  Learner - want to dive deeply into knowing the theoretical groundings of motivation while being distracted by the upcoming comprehensive exam paper on Critical Issues in Higher Ed (US Higher Ed...sadly).  Input - books and journal articles are scattered around the house (sorry, Susan)...the collection keeps getting bigger.  Restorative - I just want to fix work issues and these are taking way too much of my head space.

Begin.  Just begin.  On this peaceful start to the new month of October, I will begin to continue on a narrower path.