And the procrastination continues. I actually made excellent use of my 5 hours at the library until a wicked tension headache drove me home and to bed. A good nap, some household duties, help my daughter with an essay, and it's 10 pm...the procrastinator hard at work on his blog with the solid comfort that both email accounts are clear, facebook land has no interesting news, no fascinating tweets to read...so now the blog before I get back at it.
See, all week I have had terrible sleep this week (even the nap was awful...my 23 yr old knocked on the door to ask me if I was asleep...yes, it continues after they are 5) which lead to the grinding tension headache this week. Vague amorphous dreams of not passing the comp and not quite being smart enough for this degree. Funny how the subconscious preys on the mind and heart...how threads of that lack of confidence from the age of 17 continues at 47.
My leadership coach advises how important it is to know who you are - and whose you are - and to have simple mantras to shift that deficit mindset into one of positive growth. "Be courageous today" "Be the change" "I am a child of God" are some that have gotten me through a day or a moment. Today it's a bit more pragmatic. "I will finish this comp" alternating with "I can earn this degree".
Sunday looks like an awesome day - Grade 4 sunday school in the morning, baking calzones for the church in the box band in the afternoon (there is something about feeding hungry guys who are grateful for something decent to eat that is deeply rewarding for me), and CITB in the evening...book ended on either end with an hour or two of writing and thinking. Mantra for the day will be "where you are BE there".
Looking forward to BEING tomorrow...and getting this comp done. Page 12 underway...two more sections...major edit...deadline monday night, 11:59 pm PST (yes, that's 2:59 AM on Tuesday morning for those of us in the eastern time zone...and yes I actually have used that time difference to meet deadlines).
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